Chapter 18
The messages didnt feel the passion that we felt BEFORE. the ship was drifting away in a dead sea of sensation.
I had told him to seek help in Mogadishu with the UN office to ask for money—to go see the priest of the village and tell him that he was undercover and needed money. I told him that if you risk yourself, your life for the American flag, for what or why? They should be able to help you out. You need to be protected, they need to protect your back now. Your country needs to get you out of there, not me.
how did Isurvive without you without losing my mind?
I still cannot believe Inleft my work career and retirement plan privileges for someone who cannot think or see beyond their nose.
It was just going on and on to a dead end.
Screen deleted
The shit hit the fan
Aftermath of a shock
Screen deleted
Screen block
Screen unblock
Screen deleted
Rage was going up like lava in an earthquake ready to explode.
Screen block
Delete delete everywhere, delete Instagram, delete TikTok, delete Facebook.
Leave no trace.
Take refuge in the mountains, in my cabin and hide for the rest of my life.
What life?
I had no more life.
Everything was over.
Unblock WhatsApp, read.
Delete
Delete
Delete
Block
My mind needed to focus.
My mind needed to be on survival mode.
I could not let my mind collapse.
I needed to take control like my other job in case we had a crash, an emergency; this was an emergency.
I needed to focus.
To resume and gather all the pieces together.
And admitted that I knew it all along that this was a scam, but this...
No way.
How can it be so brutal, so unfair, so hard to admit?
I meant to cry a river, a lake, an ocean of tears, but no.
How dare he did that to me, the son of a bitch.
Unblock WhatsApp.
SO YOU RAISE CHICKENS, AFRICAN ASSHOLE?
HOW DO YOU FEEL PUTTING THE KNIFE ON SOMEBODY'S HEART, LIAR?
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP AS A FAKE PERSON!?
WHY DID YOU PICK ME?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK ME?
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU TO MAKE ME YOUR MARTYR?
GO TO CHURCH, ONLY SINNERS GO TO CHURCH.
You are not a martyr Louise if anything I have said stands true, it is that I have lied to you for a long time and that is why it seems like what we had is falling and failing.
YOU ARE NOT ANDY.
ANDY?
YOU ARE NOBODY.
YOU ARE A GHOST.
YOU ARE A LIAR.
A SCAMMER.
A THIEF. NO PICTURE, NO WONDER.
NO CALL, NO WONDER.
NO VIDEO, NO WONDER.
NOT COMING, NO WONDER. YOU ARE A TOTAL NON-EXISTENT PIECE OF SHIT.
YOU ARE A NOBODY.
YOU DO NOT EXIST.
I AM IN YOUR BOOK.
ONE DAY YOU SAID IF YOU DO NOT EXIST YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE BUBBLES.
EMPTY.
WHAT FAITH WAS THAT YOU BUILT ON LIES?
WHAT WE HAD DIDN'T EXIST.
You used somebody else's careers.
Somebody else's words.
Somebody else's pictures.
Somebody else's videos.
But you used me.
To get money.
You cannot even put a picture of yourself, Andy. You used your son; how low can you get?
Begging money for your son.
He probably does not exist either, the son of somebody else.
Wow, this is a criminal offense right there.
Hide yourself.
Human wreck.
Happy to have destroyed my present, my future, my dreams.
Trust a piece of shit, that is what I did.
Anything I said stands true.
How you do not exist, you do not even have a picture of yourself.
You do not exist. How can it fail?
it was not all me. this complication is why it took so long to tell you the truth.
I will not read you, you do not have a picture, you do not exist, all no, your entire life is a fake, your village is a fake.
i may be wrong on many accounts but not on the ones you think.
you are not making sense yet. i will give you time to process.
i am in nigeria, not somalia. i am not a hacker or scammer.
i am a graphic designer, writer and photographer.
i am really not feeling well and i am grateful for your assistance as it helped start my treatment.
(I am sure when he said that he was using the made-up sentences already written for scammers.)
but i will not argue with you. i know you deserve an explanation, but i believe you know all you need to already.
you already knew that months ago.
I sent him all the pictures of Andy and his son.
THIS IS NOT YOU. DO PUT YOUR FUCKING PICTURE ON, ASSHOLE. PUT YOUR GOD DAMN PICTURE IN AND LET ME LIVE MY LIFE.
HE DID NOT.
because I was more worried about how you would take the truth, I kept hinting at it, trying to tell you the truth and holding back for your sake each time...
I do not own the account on tiktok. I manage it for the person I used to work for. I left the job and inleft with your information so that no one could text you pretending to be me.
I already told you who i am. black.
I am not Andy.
iam trying to fix what I broke because something feels broken inside me each time I lie to you.
There is nothing to fix.
This is about telling you the truth about...Showing you whom you fell in love with.
I fell in love with a liar.
it is about freeing myself from the fear of a love I could lose when the love is not true in the first place.
Would you have fallen for me otherwise? the answer is no.
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