5 Me

Chapter 5

​I cannot describe the sheer joy that songwriting brought me. I was beyond thrilled with the results; I had finally found my bubble, my escape. Every morning, I would wake up and refine a song. I spent hours choosing the music, then I’d listen to my new creation on repeat. But on a cellphone, the sound was thin, and through plastic-covered headphones, it wasn’t much better.

​So, I bought a speaker. The first brand I got on Amazon was terrible—it just didn't work. Eventually, I opted for a high-quality speaker made in the USA; at that point, it was a matter of survival for my spirit.

​I suddenly remembered that this was exactly why I had moved here in 2004: to be alone in the woods and blast music as loud as I wanted. Somewhere along the way, I had let all forms of joy vanish from my life, including music. But now, it was back, and it would stay with me until the day I die.

​It was a scorching summer. I spent my long days outside, scribbling lyrics for a new song. I’d write a line, step back, and start again. It was so cool. I had finally accepted my departure from the workforce. I didn't call it "retirement"—I just said I didn't need to work anymore, or simply that I was a songwriter. Which was true, after all. Slowly but surely, my songs were becoming popular. I didn't ask for much: a hundred people were enough to tell me my music was good.

​I didn't do any promotion. In real life, I don't know many people, and no one in my circle—not even my family—goes on TikTok to support me.

​I made it a point to listen to the legendary Bon Jovi and watch his videos. It made me dream all day, thinking of him while I gardened. At my age, having a crush... it feels silly, but why not? It had been ages since I’d felt that way. I was at a stage in my life where I wanted to do everything before I died. That "damned retirement" haunted me.

​Until the day I received an invitation to join "a" Bon Jovi. Naively, I was surprised. How was it possible, since he had blocked me on Twitter?

​Yes, I was naive. I didn't spend my life on social media. Before that, I used Facebook a bit for family and Twitter for quick world news while traveling. So, being on these platforms and being flirted with was all brand new to me.

​One Bon Jovi, then a second one... I set out to find the real Bon Jovi to tell him about my discovery—that people were impersonating him. Of course, everyone knew about the fake accounts except me. I discovered there were thousands of clones of him. But at first, I didn't know.

​So, I began my quest for the right one. Yet, when I watched his music videos, I left likes and comments, but nothing ever came of it. Then one day, caught off guard by the void of no longer working, I contacted "a" Bon Jovi, and he was kind. We kept writing. He told me he was in the middle of a divorce, that it was hard, etc. And of course, I believed all those "Yahoo Boy" lies, as they call them in the jargon.

​I was furious. I swore to myself I would find the real Bon Jovi and tell him what was happening. I couldn't understand why a legend like him didn't do anything to get rid of this vermin that was dragging his reputation through the mud.